insomnia.

Posted by resonanteye on 06/23/2012

When I was a kid, I stayed up all night and was exhausted every morning. I lay in bed, wide awake, waiting to sleep.

Now I don’t know for sure if it is a result of chemicals in my brain, anxiety from some trauma I have long forgotten, or just a natural state for me, but at night I am wide eyed and alert. I think clearly, I work better and harder, I thrive. When the sun comes up I begin to yawn, and I would, if I could, sleep always on a late-afternoon wake-up schedule.

I think there is some kind of name for this. I don’t know if it’s delayed sleep phases, or what. But, also, over time my sleep gets a tiny bit later, and later, and later. until I have come full circle and I wake up at 8 AM! I have tried every means to control this sleep mayhem and haven’t found a way yet.

Right now, I take ambien one night- lunesta the next- temazepam the next, then start over. I don’t want to get tolerant of my sleeping pills, I want them to keep working for me.

I guess the only reason I even try to make a day schedule or any normal one is that I like to be able to go to work and tattoo people! And I can’t wake up at 5pm and do much of that…

So I keep trying for a somewhat normal schedule. I’d love to go to sleep at three AM, wake up at noon. That’s nine whole hours. I usually get ten hours, but I could do with nine, right?

I mean, the hours I am awake I work, I do all the things anyone else would do in the daytime, in the morning.

If I could survive just selling non-tattoo artworks, I could stop fighting my sleep schedule, and maybe that would make a difference. But I don’t know for sure, I’ve never done that.

Well, here’s to all of you wide-eyed people under the stars. You’re not alone. If you have any advice, ideas, or experiences of your own with insomnia (especially lifelong insomnia) feel free to overload the comments below, I would love to hear about your sleep struggles.

It’ll be more fun than counting sheep, I promise.

7 Responses to “insomnia.”

  1. Brittany said

    I have the same issue. I have tried resetting my clock countless times. It is so hard having children now because they of course, are up and fully functioning early. I create best at the wee hours of the morning/late at night, I don’t full function until at least noon, and am not really competent until the evening. I have read hundreds of articles and tried many different things from yoga to day lamps… (I won’t try medicine for personal reasons, but I have nothing against anyone doing so). Ugh.. I have come to terms that it is hopeless to try and correct, and I get as much done at night as I can so until my mind wakes up everything is just laid out for me.

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    • strangely enough I was a late riser and sleeper even as a kid. but yeah- for me I’ve tried everything, finally got medication for it after years of trying all the rest

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  2. Lenny said

    http://www.nigms.nih.gov/Education/Factsheet_CircadianRhythms.htm doesn’t help much about why some people are different, but I think circadian rhythms is the term you might have been looking for.

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  3. I hate it because my sleep schedule seems to shift ever so slightly, a bit later all the time!

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  4. Lenny said

    10.30pm I’m awake, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I’d happily go to bed at seven am and wake up late afternoon. As it is I try to force myself to stay awake in the day, which means I’m barely functioning, have a brief upsurge in ability to call the chemist, or try to sort out household stuff, get completely overstimulated and overwhelmed, then the major slump and starting to recover in the evening. I wonder if I moved to a different timezone, whether that would change anything.

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  5. jubrew said

    Another night owl! I can’t even remember the last time I actually slept through the night. Now I’m usually on the computer until 3 or 4 am, and if I still can’t sleep, I get up! The house gets clean, crafts get made, food gets prepped. It’s so much better than tossing and turning.

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